June 12, 2015
Motherly Advice- The Truth Hurts

I am up at my cottage in front of a fire, enjoying a northern Minnesota summer - a bit windy, a bit rainy, with a bit of a chill. 

I love being a mother (now is certainly easier with all of them out of the house),  it was what I was called to do.  I was blessed to be a stay-at-home Mom.  This did not make me a better mother than anyone else, just more kid time, which I adored. Now with the advent of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram there is no downtime to Motherhood. I am on a need to know basis with calls, texts, or postings on Instagram, and that works for me. Growing up we were not in constant communication with our families, friends or co workers and this gave us free time, just for ourselves. What a gift just 'me' time was.

I still hear about my children's lives, their ups and downs, wins and losses,  but they handle the solutions sometimes with 'sought after' advice.  Trying to stay out of their business is difficult, I try to keep my wisdom to myself,  not always with success.

It was with our youngest, Tess, that I started to learn that sometimes motherly advice just won't help.

Tess was 8—she is now 26—and we were on a family vacation. It was a wonderful time to be together, relax, and play games.  We are a very competitive group and it did not matter if you were 50 years old or 8 years old, you were treated the same.  Football was the sport chosen that particular day and the teams were boys (4) verses girls (6). Tess was having trouble catching the ball; finally in frustration she ran to her room crying, I went after her.  After  giving her my best mothering advice; Tess said " I'm a loser, I can't catch the ball!".  Trying to make her feel better,  I said "You are not a loser, I can't catch the ball either".  Tess looked at me with sadness in her eyes and said "Then your a loser too!" and started crying harder.

So much for good mothering. 

Colleen Ryan